Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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