4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You're my little dorito
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
