its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
