Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
