idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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