we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
