During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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