turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
