Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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