Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
