im drinking this country out of the recession.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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