This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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