well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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