their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
