Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
