Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Quick, to the slutcave!
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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