Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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