I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
vagina is talking i cant
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
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