First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
