I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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