You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
