id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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