Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
