I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize