I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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