Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
