These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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