i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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