roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
