theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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