he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
