i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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