dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Pooping to opera.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
