I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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