Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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