eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
