I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
