i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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