its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
