guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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