smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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