party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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