I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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