The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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