I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
