rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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