speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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