I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
