Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
