FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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