think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
no you cant smoke seaweed
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
