I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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