Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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