Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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