he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
