suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
