No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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