do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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