the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Less talking, more tequila
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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