so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
