Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
