oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Randomize
