I wanna bring you to show and tell
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
